Bit by Bit
Or one bite at a time. Thats how you eat a whole chocolate cake right? A while back this analogy was told to me. I had been a bit overwhelmed about a task that I was working on and someone had said, “you know how you eat a whole chocolate cake don’t you? I thought what the hell did that have to do with anything. Personally I felt I was eating a plate full of shit. So I said “no how?” they said “one bite at a time”. I understood but didn’t really think that much about it. My feelings of being overwhelmed still where there flooding my mind and causing me to not quite get the whole “bite by bite thing”. Fast forward and I was moving into another home. The homeowner said “we are putterers. We putter around and do things all the time. Small task but it keeps us on top of the home and the property.” Now I started to see a small glimpse of the larger picture, however I still didn’t enact any of the advise that was given. Fast forward again and I survived cancer and I was faced with recovery. I had to recover my body, my mind and be a care giver for my Benevolent Dictator. Faced with money and legal issues, my husband having stage 4 lymphoma, a house to stay on top of, a teenager and my 20 year old at the time. I started again to feel that since of being overwhelmed. Drowning in life. Trips back and forth to Houston and hospitals filled my days. My studio sometimes went days and even weeks without so much as me stepping foot in it. Submission deadlines went unmet. My on line stores stood dormant. The garden that I once took pride in now was over grown and weed infested. I felt I was being drowned. My identity slowly disappearing. My voice and my words lost inside my own head. Add to that the political environment and the sudden changes and worry about health care. It was getting so out of hand. I felt like I was drowning in this vast sea.
Have I set the scene? Can you feel it. The depression the loss. So how did I or how am I, because I am still recovering from all that described, and now add to it the death of my Benevolent Dictator. One bite at a time. But here is my analogy because personally, I don’t have any problem eating a whole chocolate cake and to me eating a cake is wonderful. I felt as if I where in a prison and my job was to break the rocks that made up a mountain. That is what I felt. That since of having a task that was so large, and so out of hand that it seemed that it was never ending. Eternal. But here was what I finally caught on to. There are always mountains. Some feel larger than others. Some you can see over, some you can't . Some, when you climb to the top it was all worth it. You can see for miles and miles. You can see the road from there. You can feel closer to the heavens. But you have to climb them, you have to even move them sometimes chipping at them one rock at a time.
This post was not to overwhelm you but to convey to you that everyone has to move mountains. Everyday. The problem is you never see when a person is moving that mountain. You just see it when the mountain is moved. But the art is the chipping. That person that gets up and putters, that one who is just breaking those rocks down bit by bit and moving mountains.
Whey am I talking about that? Well that is what I am currently doing here in my life. Chipping away. Moving mountains. Currently I have been on a self discovery. In the next few blog post I am going to give you a peek into those rocks I am breaking down.
Because perhaps one day you too will need to know that someone went through something and this is how they moved forward. How they perhaps had to do things that were not so pleasant to get to that zenith that they could see the next mountain. That they could just sit for a moment and know it was a job well done and what seemed to be an overwhelming task, a mountain that was in the way, can be moved. Can be used to see the road ahead.
Stay with me, Im working on myself and it would be great to have you along for the ride. In the next blog post I will talk about how I am moving mountains in the studio, What my goals are what my short term goals are and what I have to accomplish and how I organize my days to reach those goals. I will even cover what happens when I don’t reach those goals and a bit about setting myself up for failure and how not to do it.